The Courage to Live Your Values: A Pathway to Inner Freedom
- Andreea Toporas
- Jun 8
- 4 min read
Imagine this: you’re sitting in a quiet room, away from the noise of social media, work, and expectations. It’s just you, your thoughts, and a question that rarely gets enough attention: What do I truly value?
Most of us grow up absorbing values from the world around us: family, culture, friends, even marketing. We learn what’s “good”, what’s “right” and what’s “expected” often without questioning if those values are actually ours. We wear them like hand-me-down clothes: convenient, but not always the best fit. And then, somewhere along the way, we start to feel the weight of living out of sync with who we really are.
Let’s speak about Mira, a woman who feels utterly disconnected from her own life. On the surface, everything looks good: stable job, caring partner, a circle of friends. But inside, she feels like a guest in her own story. She is exhausted from saying “yes” when she means “no”, from showing up to commitments that drain her, from living by a script that no longer makes sense. When asked to name her core values, she pause. Tears appear in her eyes then softly you hear a whisper: “I don’t even know what they are”. And that’s where her journey begins.
1. Defining Your Values
Living by your values isn’t about picking from a pre-approved list. It’s about discovering what truly matters to you. It’s the process of asking
“What do I stand for when no one’s watching?”
and
“What do I want my life to feel like—not just look like?”
Start by reflecting on moments when you felt most alive, most fulfilled, most yourself.
What was happening?
Who were you with?
What were you doing?
Those moments often reveal your deepest values: authenticity, freedom, connection, creativity, honesty.
Write them down. Let them surprise you. You might find that “creativity” matters more than “success” or that “integrity” outweighs “popularity”.
These values aren’t random, they’re your internal compass.
2. Aligning Choices with Values
Knowing your values is powerful. But living by them, that’s where transformation happens.
Think of your daily choices as votes for your values.
Every “yes” and every “no” shapes the life you’re building.
Are your choices aligned with your deepest truths, or are they swayed by fear, guilt, or the need for approval?
Mira, for example, realized she valued honesty and compassion. Yet, she often silenced her needs to avoid conflict. She’d smile through discomfort, say “it’s fine” when it wasn’t, and let her boundaries blur in the name of keeping the peace. That’s the cost of living by borrowed values: you lose sight of yourself.
When she began practicing small acts of honesty like saying “no” to commitments that drained her, asking for help when she needed it, something shifted. She felt lighter, more present. Her relationships deepened. She began to trust herself again.
That’s what alignment feels like:
Relief
Clarity
A quiet sense of coming home
3. Dealing with Conflicting Values
Here’s the truth: even our most cherished values can sometimes clash. You might value both freedom and security, honesty and kindness, growth and stability. And life rarely offers a neat, either-or choice.
The key is to navigate these tensions with compassion. Instead of choosing one value and discarding the other, ask:
How can I honor both values in this decision?
Imagine you value honesty but also kindness. When giving feedback to a colleague or friend, honesty without kindness can become harshness, while kindness without honesty can feel like avoidance. But honesty with kindness? That’s integrity in action.
It’s precisely when our values conflict that we get the opportunity to explore how to live them with honesty, courage, and grace. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present and true.
4. Living with Authentic Joy
When Mira finally allowed herself to live by her values, authenticity, compassion and growth, she discovered a joy that didn’t depend on external validation. It wasn’t the performative happiness that so many of us chase; it was a deep, steady sense of alignment. She stopped editing herself to fit others’ expectations. She found the courage to say, “This is who I am, and this is what matters to me”. And in that space, she felt free.
That’s what living by your values offers: a roadmap back to yourself. It’s not always easy, there will be days when fear and doubt whisper that it’s safer to follow the crowd. But the truth is: your life is too precious to live by someone else’s script.
So, pause today. Ask yourself:
What do I value most deeply?
Where in my life am I aligned with those values?
Where am I out of alignment, and what small step can I take to realign?
Living by your values is not a destination. It’s a daily practice, a way of moving through the world that invites authentic joy, meaningful choices, and a deeper connection to who you are.
Because at the end of the day, you are not here to perform someone else’s life. You are here to live yours fully, bravely, and beautifully aligned with your truth.
Imagine a life where you don’t just survive—but truly feel alive.
Where every choice reflects your deepest truths.
Where your days feel aligned, your heart feels light, and your smile comes from a place of genuine joy, not obligation.
If you’re ready to rediscover what makes your soul sing, to live in alignment with who you truly are, let’s begin that journey together.
Book a free clarity call with me today.
Together, we’ll explore the values that make you, you - and build a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
[Book Your Free Clarity Call Here]
Because you deserve to live your truth—and to feel the joy that comes with it.
Comments